Month: July 2016

Peace, Joy, Love

For a long time, the question, “What do you want?” would fill me with angst. I never knew what to answer. I always had a sense that if I did, I would be forever limiting myself and excluding something important. In a way, that was true because my perspective itself was limited to things I wanted to be, achieve, do or have.

Sunflower.StuartDavies

Photo by Stuart Davies Used with Permission

Now I realize it never was meant to be a trick question. I just needed a broader perspective.

I’ve been asking myself the “what do you want” question a lot lately. What do I really want? And the answer is so simple, it’s astonishing. I want three things. With these three things, I’m assured a happy life. What are they?

Peace

I want to be peaceful. What does that mean? What does peace look like? Firstly, it requires acceptance of what is. I can’t be fighting against reality and wanting things to be other than how they are. I have to learn to be with what is, no matter what. It doesn’t mean I can’t take action to change something, but I have to let go of expectations and outcomes. Secondly, it means I have to cultivate peacefulness inside myself. I cannot afford to harbor ill-will toward another. If I do, I will lose the thing I most want out of life. I have to be willing to choose peace over being right or justified. I have to choose peace over thoughts that would instead bring me disharmony.

Joy

I want joy in my life. To be joyful, I have to appreciate life. Luckily, there’s so much to appreciate: color, fresh air, sunlight, flowers, trees, clouds, rain, animals, art… I also have to allow myself to create and be spontaneous. There’s no room for inhibition in joy. Joy is a natural spring that must be allowed to bubble up and express itself. There’s no room for holding back in fear. Joy is exhuberance. It’s playfulness. It’s willingness. Joy opens itself up to life and says, “Yes!” Joy if full of gratitude and generosity. Joy tries new things and isn’t afraid of being a little silly.

Love

I want to live a loving life. I want to be more loving toward not only others but myself. What does that mean? It means I have to be willing to feel all of my feelings. It means I have to respect others for who they are. It means I have to exercise forgiveness on a daily basis. To be move loving, I have to remove all the barriers I’ve built up to love. It means I have to reexamine my beliefs about love. It means I have to be vulnerable and gentle when I want to protect and defend. Love is compassionate and open. There is room for everyone and everything. Love even has room for fear, but love has the wisdom to know that fear has no real power.

This is all I want out of life. With these three things, I have everything. So, it doesn’t matter how they arrive or what they look like. Whatever manifests, and regardless of what doesn’t, I’d have it all.

Transformational Voicework: What the Heck Is It?

I’ve been on a quest since the beginning to aptly name my work. I’m still searching for the right words to describe what Transformational Voicework is…and isn’t. It’s one of those “you have to experience it” experiences. Finding the right words to explain what must be experienced to be known is and will probably always be impossible. But I keep trying! I even wrote two books about it.

It has always been challenging describing and defining my work. Use the word “voice” and people think of standing in front of a room shaking or standing in the back of a choir shrinking, and worse yet, screaming…as if that’s all the voice had to offer us. They think of words and lyrics, yells and squeals.

At first, I called my work Shamanic Voicework because the practices developed out of my experiences with Toltec shamanism and the exercise known as recapitulation. Forget the fact that it also combined elements of Creative Drama. After all, I couldn’t very well call it Shamanic Creative Drama Voicework! But the word “shamanic” was a trigger for a lot of people while others just felt is was too woo-woo, so I changed the descriptor to “transformational” since when people engaged in this work, that’s what was happening. They were transforming. They were losing inhibitions and tapping into buried creativity and expression. But while this describes the result, it doesn’t really explain the purpose or process.

THE PURPOSE AND PROCESS

The voice is a powerful tool for healing, but few people think about the potential of the voice beyond speaking and singing. They take the voice for granted instead of realizing the incredible magic if offers. But I couldn’t very well call it “healing voice” or use more technical types of words because there were already too many associations with speech therapy, another common mistaken association. And I couldn’t call it “voice yoga” because my friend Kara nabbed that one! 😉 But actually, even that didn’t quite reach the heart of the method I’d created. For years, I’ve been making due with Transformational Voicework.

But now that I’ve left a city where every other person is a yoga teacher or massage therapist to live in a country where few people even know what Reiki is, let alone something called Transformational Voicework, I’ve had to rethink things again. I’ve had quite the brainstorming session, and words like “metamorphosis”, “catharsis”, “unwinding”, and “opening” came up.  So did “evolution”, “revolution”, “rapture”, “genesis”, “deconditioning”, “purification”, and “reprogramming”. But some of these are already in use in a different way. For example, there are musical artists that call themselves “Vocal Revolution”. Besides, some of these words are no less “woo-woo” that “shamanic”.

Other words came to mind, like “primal”, “divine”, “sovereign”, “instinctual”, and “reflexive” …along with plenty of silly phrases like “Voice Hurling” and “Vocal Roto Rooter”…along with nutty mash-ups like Evocalvox. There were also words like “authentic”, “pure”, “satisfying”, “archetypal”, and “heartfelt”. “Imaginative”, “creative”, “uninhibited”, “liberating”, “adventurous”, “natural”; each of these words plays such an important role in the type of voice work I share with clients. But how do I get that across in three words or less? So many words, each of them saying something important about the techniques I offer, but no one able to encapsulate the energy-moving, life-altering processes.

While I thought I was onto something with the word”release”, a major aspect of the work that has to come first to get to the juicier parts, it too presented problems. Short and sweet, but associated with screaming,  it was perhaps too easily misinterpreted. Alas, “Vocal Release” is already in use to describe a singing method anyway.

Another word I really like is “intuitive”. The head has to be removed or the sounding isn’t natural and indigenous to the body; it is still far too conditioned. The voice (or the mind that controls it) requires deconditioning. But while I would be referring to mental deconditioning, voice therapists already use the term to describe degenerative states of the vocal mechanism, and I certainly don’t want that connotation! I love the word “intuition” which reflects that the sounding isn’t about following a sheet of music or trying to sound a certain way. But using “intuitive voice” alone connotes channelers and psychics.

I recently came up with “Intuitive Vocal Release” and tested it with a small audience. The usual connotations arose: singing, screaming, shouting. Some people thought it was downright wordy and empty. Granted, they have nothing experiential with which to relate it…nothing but singing, screaming, or speaking. The usual. But that’s not what I teach. Transformational Voicework is a series of processes that take a great deal of coordination with attention on very subtle changes, utilizing breath, movement and the full palette of the voice to move emotion, energy, stagnation and pain. Tranformational Voicework is a way in and a doorway out.

AND SO…

Transformational Voicework will have to stand for now. Regrettably, I am aware that misunderstandings of my work continue. Most clients who show up for the first time at workshops tell me, “I have no idea what this is. I just know I have to try it.” Such brave souls and always ready for the experience. With others, for example random people who ask me what I do, there are always assumptions more so because there are no concepts other than singing or speaking with which people can relate. Sometime, I just give in exasperated, “I’m a vocal coach.” At least they can wrap their heads around it. Someone suggested the word “experimental” and while it requires a sense of exploration for the person going through it, I don’t like the connotation that there is no method to the madness. I know where it all leads…to the “exalted voice”…something I’ve seen and been blown away by time and again in my clients who are fortunate enough to allow themselves to go that far.

I’ve been trying to label all of this, to develop a phrase that narrows in on the most essential elements of this amazing work, but maybe it is the heart alone and not a name that needs to call people to this path. I’m okay with that.

Some Thoughts on Growing Up

I had a dream not that long ago. I was with a group of children rolling around and playing. We were laughing and having such a silly time of it. When it was time for me to go, I felt I had to say something. I told them all how much I appreciated playing like that again and watching them too and that I had no doubt of the importance of allowing ourselves to play. I encouraged them to keep playing, keep laughing, keep having unbridled fun for as long as they could in life, for these things could save the world.

This dream sort of came true for me recently when I taught a group of expat kids a creative drama workshop. It was a joyous day for me because the kids were so uninhibited and alive. Their eyes still shone with the light of their hearts. They weren’t afraid to act silly, take a chance, or imagine something that wasn’t real. They gave me hope…and fits of laughter.funky-kids

I’ve never thought myself all that unusual, but the more I engage with random folk and not just friends, the more I see myself as an oddity. So many “grown ups” seem so happy to argue for their limitations believing they can’t do this or that, that they are too old, too tired, too inflexible, and too late. They are terrified of making a fool of themselves, to try something new. What an excruciating way to live! If there’s something you love and you want to do it, go after it. You might not be the next Picasso or Barbara Streisand, but so what? You might never sell your book and perhaps no one will ever hear your song, but if it is inside of you, for heaven’s sake, let it out! Who cares who’s watching? Who cares who’s judging?

I think we have “growing up” all wrong. For so many people, the act of growing up stole their essence. They exchanged wonder for skepticism and their favorite toy for their favorite addiction, numbing themselves to the pain of a joyless life. Growing up isn’t meant to be growing away from ourselves. Growing up is growing away from and beyond all the bullshit we’ve been taught to believe. Growing up is remembering how to be childlike without being childish. Growing up is a remembering, not a leaving things behind. Only then are we truly alive and wonder-full, a creative force to be reckoned with. Go play!

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén