Author: Beth Page 3 of 12

Yoga Teacher Responsibility: Cultivating Sovereignty

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On 2021-12-06

In Blog, Yoga & Movement

There was a powerful and somewhat heated discussion recently on one of the yoga forums about the responsibility of yoga teachers to their students in terms of politics, cults, media narratives and social issues. What is a yoga teacher’s ethical role when it comes to helping our students make meaning in today’s confusing world and what oversteps that role?

I proposed that it isn’t a yoga teachers place to tell anybody else what to think. But it is our responsiblity to learn how to think and having learned the art, pass it on, and second, to maintain a certain level of neutrality or at least awareness of our own biases.

In any case, it definitely isn’t our responsiblity to decide what’s right or that someone else is wrong. In fact, maybe our greatest duty to one another as humans in this cancel culture is to grow aware of how we think and pass on that information to those who are open to it. Perhaps it is our responsibility to foster communications that welcome dialogue or at the very least, demonstrate respect for varying viewpoints.

I sadly don’t always encounter that. In fact, it’s rather clear that many think it is absolutely their duty to tell others what is right and wrong. I struggle to how this aligns with principles of yoga outside very obvious natural laws.

I came across this quote from Daniel Schmachtenberger, founding member of The Consilience Project, aimed at improving public sensemaking and dialogue, in defining what the word ‘sovereignty’ means to him:

“If we actually want to empower people, I don’t want them to defer their sense-making to me. But I also don’t want them to do lazy shitty sense-making, or defer it to anyone else. Which means I want them to grow the quality of their own sense making, which means to grow the depth of their care, their anti-nihilism, to grow the depth of their earnestness and their own self-reflexiveness. To pay better attention to their biases and their sloppiness in thinking, their own skills and capacity. I want them to grow their attention span and both the clarity of their logic and the clarity of their intuition, and notice when something’s coming from intuition or logic and how to relate all of those things. That’s actually what increasing sovereignty means.”

I Hate Singing Bowls!

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On 2021-11-06

In Sound & Vibration

Okay, first, I do not hate singing bowls!!! I love them. But I recently had a couple of people to whom I introduced them tell me they couldn’t stand the sound. One said the sound hurt her heart and another woman said she found them irritating.

After I picked up my jaw from the floor (who doesn’t like singing bowls!?), I had to stop myself from entering into an explanation about why they might take issue with the sounds they were hearing. Maybe I don’t really know!

There are all kinds of things that produce sound in our environments from wifi signals (which I can sometimes hear) to machines like phones, copiers, and refrigerators to pianos, violins, and yes, singing bowls. I’ve written numerous times on why some sounds are harmful to us, how we entrain to things in our environment for better or worse, and how a constant assault of noise can be damaging to our health. That’s not what this particular post is about, though. My thoughts here are related only to sounds that are purposely created and used for healing purposes, such as with singing bowls.

So why might someone have difficulty with certain frequencies? First, know that all frequencies have their place and purpose. The intention with singing bowls is meditative and of healing. If a particular sound grates, chances are, it is hitting against a blockage or resistance within you. If it is too much, trust that. Not everyone is ready to let go of everything. However, if you truly desire healing on all levels, as long as there is no physical pain, push through it. Allow the sound to open up those parts of you that have been closed off tight for so long. For example, the woman who felt heart pain is likely to carry some energetic block in her heart, maybe some habit of judgment that keeps her safe and protected. Because we were in a situation where she didn’t come to me for healing, I was not in a place to offer any council on the matter. But if she were to get curious about why she reacted the way she did, I would then share with her my experience with how sound works upon our greatest blocks. It isn’t wrong that she felt what she felt. What is sad to me is her assumption that it “wasn’t for her” when it is probably what she needs more than anything to feel more alive and free in life. Good thing there are many ways to the same destination. I hope she finds one more comfortable.

One thing I do when I am working with a client is to let them know to stop me if they feel any pain when I play a bowl on or near the body. It if isn’t too intense, I ask the client to see if they can work through it, to stay with the feeling, just for a moment and see if it transforms on its own. It often does, once the vibration has a chance to loosen up the density. If it is intense, I stop playing the bowl and continue with Reiki on the part of the body that is communicating. Often, within a few minutes, the energy shifts and the sensation is gone, and returning to playing the bowl is now a different experience.

The denser the energy around and within us, the more likely we are to experience discomfort when a vibration starts moving things around. This, I believe, is the case with the woman who found the bowls “irritating”. Humans are creatures of comfort and habit. We tend not to like getting stirred up. We like the sediment of unexpressed emotional and repressed urges to remain settled, not realizing what a dreadful impact it has upon our wellbeing and fullfilment.

In my understanding, neither of these women was really prepared to experience the healing power of singing bowls. Their energy was simply too dense and therefore the impressions from the vibrations upon their energy fields was too uncomfortable. As they learn in life to allow and accept what is, as they learn to flow (since life has a way of making us learn even what we’d rather avoid), eventually, I suspect their experience with singing bowls would change.

As we learn to open up to the healing benefits sound has to offer, we begin to widen and unfurl our frequency range of comfort. We become less annoyed, less irritated, and more open to allowing vibration to impact our being in all the positive ways it can. We loosen our grip and find our hands, hearts, and minds ready to hold new feelings, ideas, and possibilities.

 

Tibetan Triple Goddess Healing Practice

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On 2021-10-24

In Blog, Guidance & Inspiration

What is the Triple Goddess?

The Triple Goddess is commonly known as a Pagan concept signified by the Maiden, Mother and Crone archetypes. However, here I am speaking of a different tradition, that of the ancient shamanistic tradition of Tibet that predates (but eventually incorporated) Buddhism by tens of thousands of years, the Bon.

The following practice was one I adopted and adapted from this tradition. While I received actual initiations to first, Yeshe Walmo (The Widsom Protector), and then Sidpe Gyalmo (Queen of the Universe), I felt that the practices were “out of touch” with the reality of my life in 2021 and realized I wanted to develop a practice that would be more meaningful to me personally and which I would be more likely to stick to.

I had my initial reservations about creating this practice, out of reverence for the power of the original teachings. But I also knew that I was highly unlikely to commit to any full practice in its original form. I needed to create something that was more relevant to me and that I was willing and able to stick to for 40 days. I also wanted to include Sherab Chamma (Compassionate Healer).

Therefore, the Triple Goddess as it relates here is comprised of these three Bon Goddesses: Yeshe Walmo, Sidpe Gyalmo, and Sherab Chamma. This is meant to be a modern-day, more accessible practice to the Western practitioner.

I made it a part of my intent to mean absolutely no disrespect in rewriting the teachings. I humbly asked for both forgiveness for my lack of awareness and tradition and for guidance and protection as I proceeded and emphasized my deep wish to serve. This is what resulted.

Then, every night for 40 days, I recited the following, slowly and with deep devotion. I would also journal any insights afterwards. It was an incredibly moving and powerful experience, and so I share it with you now.

Should you choose to adopt it as your own, or rewrite it to make it your own (as I believe there is great benefit in doing so), please do it with humility and reverence. These are very powerful energies that will slap you silly if you misuse them! You will be tested. I was!

But during this 40-day practice, I was also rewarded with rich dreams, a blessing I had waited years to manifest, and a deepening sense of devotion and connection to the gifts of nature. While I had no expectations of such rewards, they came unbidden and as confirmation of the unconditional love of the Divine Feminine.

The Practice

[Call in each of the emanations, imagining they appear and stand before you.]

Namo Guru Sherab Chamma x 3

Peaceful/healer, Sherab Chamma, please grace me with your effulgent presence.

Namo Guru Sipe Gylamo x 3

Wrathful/protector, Sipe Gyalmo, please grace me with your effulgent presence.

Namo Guru Yeshe Walmo x 3

Wisdom/protector, Yeshe Walmo. Please grace me with your effulgent presence.

Sherab Chamma, Compassionate and Peaceful Healer, teach us to offer comfort, guidance and healing to all and to dispel all obstacles such as fear, sickness, sadness or the negative impact of demonic forces. Through you, we can and do realize the grace that illuminates a perfect understanding of the karma and suffering of beings. Your vast heart preserves and feeds the pure energy of all our hopes, dreams and accomplishments. May we trust in that.

Sidpe Gyamlo, Queen of the Universe, you ruthlessly exorcise all evils and heal with ferocious transmutation all negative energies. Free us from illusion and delusion. Reveal our dominion over evil and death. Because of you, we ride in victory triumphing over egoic and emotional affliction, eradicating hostile forces. Through you, we can and do realize cosmic truth and clear light wisdom. May we realize boundless space as Self. May all of our shadow aspects such as arrogance, negativity, and doubt be transmuted into siddhis by your eternal flames of Truth.

Yeshe Walmo, Wisdom Protector, Mother of infinite space, whose dark blue body, studded with the radiant brilliance of the starry sky, and through whom the practitioners are kept safe from fault and persecution, to you, all energies of nature submit. Upon a lotus of light, you carry a flaming thunderbolt sword to subdue our enemies and vase that holds the ever-pouring waters of Life. Truth is forever safe-guarded under your cloak of peacock feathers which transmutes all outer and inner poisons. Through you, may we be purified by the wisdom flame that burns all ignorance.

Sweet and fierce emanations of the Mother, teach us to transmute our poisons, cut away all ignorance, and reveal to us our eternal nature. In so doing, may we be blessed with the power to heal ourselves and the suffering of all beings.

Beloved Triple Mother, whose heart/breast drips with a loving and inexhaustible, heavenly nectar, I recite your mantra from the depths of my heart to yours; through your compassion, liberate the world from negativity and disharmony of all kinds in the three realms and throughout the three times, dispel all obstacles and pacify all evils, and bring everlasting peace, sweetness, and an enduring awareness of our complete perfection.

Mantras

OM MAMA RA YO ZA x 3

OM A BHI YA NAG PO BAD SOD SO HA x 108

Dedication Prayer

I dedicate this practice to the attainment of the most supreme and sublime enlightened mind for the benefit of all sentient beings. May all beings be free from suffering. May all beings know peace.

Why Divine Metime?

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On 2021-10-20

In Blog

Why Divine Metime

Why Divine Metime?

Names are important. They carry energy and set a direction. They solidify intent. I wanted to take a moment to address the name of this website.

Let’s define ‘me-time’.

First, Me-time is defined by the Online Slang Dictionary as “time to one’s self to relax, recover, think, etc.” While connotations can run the gamut from the selfish to the profane, the word is used here in its purest essence – time just for you to do something for yourself that restores and recharges you. This isn’t always an easy thing for people to make space for because of our daily obligations and responsibilities. But it is critical in order for us to remain healthy, well-balanced humans rather than dried out, resentful zombies.

The idea that it is ‘selfish’ to take me-time tends to be propagated among those who risk losing the full attention of the one taking it and by those who unable to take it for themselves as the result of some passed-down agreement or belief. But just as one must place first their own oxygen mask in case of cabin air-pressure change, those who don’t find ways to make space for me-time are often too drained to be of true service to others.

Me-time is about replenishing your energy and a means to “catch up” with yourself when the stresses of life have forced you to endure. Me-time can be as simple as setting aside five minutes in a quite room to simply breathe or it can include carving out time for your favourite hobby or be as extravagant as a month-long retreat.

Let’s define the word ‘divine’.

Now, Divine means “holy, heavenly, sacred, excellent to the highest degree” according to several sources and furthermore, according to Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary, it is also of or belonging to God; proceeding from God and/or appropriated to God. This isn’t about religion, though. It matters little whether one is a Christian, Buddhist, Muslim or Atheist. You may replace the word “God” with whatever is meaningful to you…Universal Intelligence, Source, Life itself.

On the surface, the divine of divine metime is meant to simply imply a heavenly experience, in the way one speaks of a heavenly hot bath or a divine piece of chocolate. It is a respite from everyday life, if only for an hour, and a doorway into a much more profound sanctuary.

Divine Metime

Now we put it all together. You are standing on Holy Ground right where you; you make it holy. In fact, the original meaning of healing was wholeness or, to be more precise, holiness. Healing is a re-membering of our dismembered and scattered selves impacted by a confused world and the illusion of separateness and limitation.

Divine Metime is a communion with your Sacred Self if you are willing to open yourself to it. In our surrender to the process, we steep in the Light of Pure Awareness, and allow that beautiful light to care for these bodies and forms with which we perceive the world. In that light, we remember and reconnect to the love we are.

As one client recently put it, “It’s self-care on steroids”.

Why not give it a try? Book your session today.

Consecrated: Beyond Religion

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On 2021-09-17

In Blog

I’ve written about the power in a name on numerous occasions and in my book, The Unknown Mother. On this website, I offer guided meditation mp3’s that utilize that same power to enhance meditative experience. So understand, I don’t take  names lightly. I see them as a vibratory force that impacts us on deep energetic levels, and there is science that supports that.

I’ve often shared the story, when people say, “Dielle is such an unusual name. Where does it come from?” of how in 2003, I had a near-death experience and underwent major life transformations that included a name change. It’s a long story I won’t repeat here, but I’ve used the name Dielle ever since; that name carried me through nearly 20 years of my life.

It is now Fall of 2021. The world has undergone so many significant and unprecedented changes and this being has changed along with them. Thus, I have decided to return to my birthname, Beth.

It’s kind of ironic. Beth has never liked the name. She finds it boring and terribly plain. But just like ‘Dielle’ became a beacon and a means to align with its meaning, “Drinking the Light”, now ‘Beth’ is the beacon by virtue of its meaning: consecrated to God.

(She writes in 3rd person for a very particular reason. It is a tool to create space between the Godself and egoic, or personal self. And yes, it can be a little confusing, at first. It is also incredibly liberating.)

Humanity is in the very early stages of major crisis. And if that seems unfair given the extent of the crises we’re already facing, you haven’t seen nothin’ yet. Life as we’ve always known it is gone…well and truly gone. Only the ghosts and zombies of it remain. The corruption is so widespread and so deep. We, as a species, are in a fundamental transformation, a spiritual battle. Will we align with our Godself or will we succumb to the illusory world and insanity? This is, mythologically speaking, a very old story: Christ vs. Evil, Buddha vs. Temptation, Hero vs. Villain. And I see this as a time to choose. We either choose God or default to the psychosis and devolution of our species. I do not speak of the God of religion. This God is so much greater and so much more profound. This is the Universal God.

This is going to be a very difficult time for anyone that out of hand takes issues with the word ‘God’ itself. They had better redefine it for themselves and make it accessible again. We cannot continue on without God. We will destroy ourselves and our home if we cannot redeem the notion from the grips of ancient misinterpretations and misuse. If we cannot free the concept from scriptures and religions, if we cannot reclaim it and be in relationship with it, we are lost. We do not need to exclude these things necessarily, but we need to rise above them beyond conception.

I guess my parents knew what they were doing when they named this one Beth. She is a child of God. She is holy. She belongs to God. Nothing can break this. Nothing. God gives her her experiences, her thoughts, her feelings, even her desires. They come from that One Source. But Beth is human. She has preferences and aversions. Her knowledge is limited and she is subject to the limitations of her body. She is also subject to the illusory nature of emotions, thoughts, and confusions.  She is fallible. And yet, I love her. She belongs to me. And whatever happens to her, I remain.

And I belong to God. When I use the word “I”, it is I absolute. It is I, the Godself, not the person. It is the unchangeable, uncontaminated eternal “I” that was neither born nor able to die. It is the “I” beyond mental concepts, ideas, beliefs and desires. It is the “I” beyond states of feeling. It is the imperturbable, pure being. And when Beth opens to and sits in that “I”, she dissolves into spaciousness and unites with Source.

Beth is aware that it will take time for people to get used to this change, but she’ll respond to either name as necessary. And of course, there are aspects that might take years to catch up…like her domain name.

So what about Dielle? Whoever she was, she served her purpose. I thankfully and lovingly lay her to rest.

Inspired by the Times

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On 2021-08-25

In Blog, Guidance & Inspiration

I have been feeling so inspired by the times in which we’re living. Okay, yeah, some days, I want to tie lead weights to my ankles and throw myself into the lake. But when those brief moments of “what kind of a fucked-up planet is this!” pass, I actually feel inspired. That doesn’t mean I’m not greiving over the inhumanity, the waste of creative vision, and the normalcy of dystopia from time to time either. It just means that I bounce back. I’ve learned to be resilient.

Letting Go

Why am I feeling inspired? For starters, I find myself letting go of things that just don’t align anymore; we’re talking some really big things. In some ways, those changes have been imposed upon me, such as not being able to teach yoga indoors, but many I am choosing, such as changing the types of platforms I use to be ones that support open discourse instead of this censorship crap we’re seeing everywhere. I’m feeling my own power to choose to align, and it feels great. I’m getting clearer and clearer on my values and their worth and a deeper commitment to uphold them.

While I’m still on youtube and will remain for the time being, I have set up two channels (1) (2) on Odysee featuring the same content, but separating Awareness of Thinking and Deep Important Shit from the yoga and meditation because that is most likely to be censored from youtube in the future. I’ll only post new related content in those subjects on Odysee, keeping youtube for yoga, meditation and healing work.

I’ve also stopped trying to stuff my giant-ass lightbeing self into the small box in which I’ve been living to avoid scaring the natives. I have been overly careful, hiding really, so as to avoid the lack of acceptance I already felt here. I was so concerned about having (any) clients and competing with the cliques, and not offending or threatening people with who I am, that I allowed my gifts to shrink and virtually disappear into ghosts of their former expression. Frankly, a part of me really likes hiding. It’s easy. Too easy. But I’m finally integrating what it had to teach me, and the energy has shifted. I’m done hiding. Take me or leave me.

A Change of Focus

One of the things I’m going to be letting go of is teaching group yoga on a regular basis. Instead, I’m going to be focusing on teaching, writing and recording guided meditations, for which I’ve received some very positive feedback that warms my heart and encourages me on. My personal “deyoga” practice will re-take center stage for me as I re-transition into the healing work I was doing before I became a yoga teacher, the work that was forsaken when I moved to this difficult learning ground known as Southwestern France.

Let me explain “deyoga”. I’m so over rules, regulations, certifications, right ways and wrong ways. I just wanna move my body, man. I want to forget all the knowledge that was crammed into my head and let my practice become ME. I can no longer cater to what people expect a yoga class to be! Because I truly believe movement needs to be individualized and incorporate the whole being, I will be focusing on private yoga sessions “Dielle style” working with truly commited students who understand yoga is a doorway into Self, not just some exercise plan. So if you’re not afraid of a mantra or two, or sitting still and breathing for an hour if that’s what’s called for, hit me up for a session. But I’ll still teach Wednesday’s Gentle Stretch class on Ompractice; it still gives me pleasure to do so.

Also instead of group yoga, I’ll be offering private restorative yoga energy healing sessions online. It’s what the times call for (it’s what people need whether they know it or not), and it is where my true gifts lie. I am a natural-born healer and it’s time I reclaimed that.

I also plan to write a lot more; in fact, I’ve already been doing so, though very much under the radar, at Substack (with one piece proudly published in the OffGuardian). So much has changed in this world since 2020. I am certainly not the same person I was. There’s no point in pretending to be; we don’t live in an age where ‘not alienating people’ is possible if we’re speaking our truth. And I certainly have no intention of doing anything watered down anymore. Too much is at stake.

I came into this world with the values of Beauty, Freedom and Truth in my DNA. I’m not about to let those ideals parish because of a climate of persecution. There are those who would call me and others like me selfish, but we’re not out to preserve merely our own comforts and freedoms. We want to ensure them for all. So once again, as is the ironic case all too often, he who does the pointing has three fingers pointing back at him. If you too want to be selfish as hell and preserve civil liberties and human rights…

Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn’t matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray. Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

~Rumi

 

My Memes

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On 2021-08-24

In Blog

Some Basic Yoga Terms

By

On 2021-08-24

In Blog, Yoga & Movement

Some Basic Yoga Terms

If you are new to yoga, you might not be familiar with some of the commonly used words that describe practice. Here are a few important concepts to help make your practice more meaningful:

Asana

When most people think of yoga, they think of the poses. Asana is the practice of yoga poses, but it isn’t even a fraction of true yoga. When one uses the word ‘yoga’ to describe a physical practice, what they are really describing is asana. Yoga actually has eight limbs, only one of which is asana or posture. Explaining each of the limbs is beyond the scope of this course, but they include things like concentration and meditaiton.

Centering (aka Going INward)

We spend lots of time during the day with our energy turned outwards, our five senses constantly processing colors, sounds, tastes, smells and external experience. Centering is about turning that attention back towards our…well…center. We feel ourselves again, in the moment, by quieting the mind, slowing the breath, and sensing our own inner experience of sensation.

Grounding

Grounding, also known as “earthing”, is becoming aware of your connection to the earth, usually through the feet though it can be accomplished in many ways. When we ground, we feel the surface beneath us rising up to meet our feet and offering us its support.

We also feel the weight of our body in relationship to that ground as well as a rebound through the length of the body. A tree is a great example to understand rebound. A tree’s roots grow deep into the earth, spreading wide. But above ground, the trees limbs reach ever upward toward the sky. When we ground and because of the ground, we feel both postural support throughout the body and space between each vertebra.

Pranayama

Prana is a Sanskrit term meaning “life force” or “breath”. Yama can be translated as “control”. Therefore, pranayama is often described as the practice of breath control. However, one can look at this from another perspective as Ayama is the opposite of control. Yoga anatomy author and educator, Leslie Kaminoff, refers to pranayama as the ‘unobstruction of the breath’.

I prefer this definition to the more traditional ‘breath control’ one because rather than thinking of the breath as something we need to control, breath is something we need to free and allow to flow (and grow) organically. Even if we are imposing some structure on the breath with retention or counting, we only do so from a relaxed, easy place. If we observe oursevles tightening or efforting around a practice, we return to a normal breath and relax before preceding. In this way, we don’t develop the bad habit of struggle. Rather, we give ourselves space and time to develop our relationship with breath.

Why I Left the Yoga Alliance

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On 2020-10-20

In Guidance & Inspiration, Yoga & Movement

After completing my 200-hour yoga teacher training, I did what any new professional would do. I headed over to one of several organizations that sets standards for and certifies yoga teachers. For some perfectly legit — and some ridiculous reasons — this world is obsessed with little pieces of paper that often prove very little. As for me, I felt it added some credibility to my “new” profession. I put that in quotes because I have a Masters degree in teaching and have been practicing yoga since the 1990’s. Let’s face it. A doctor can have his degree from a fine institution and still be a completely close-minded bedside moron relying on stimulants to make it through his day. Likewise, someone with zero experience can obtain a piece of paper in weeks online and go out and kick ass in their chosen field (or worse, be completely incompetent…but hey, they have the paper!) Then there’s me…someone with tons of applicable experience that is ignored or discounted because it is too unique to fit an organization’s paradigm.

With my Yoga Alliance renewal pending, I had to stop and think about why I was continuing to give money to an organization that offered little in return where benchmarks failed to account for true experience and trainings seemed to be more about making money. Did they help me find employment? No. Did they help me find practice insurance for my studio? No. Did they have interactive ongoing training that I didn’t have to shell out additional money for? Not exactly. Did they have a list of certified trainers from whom I wanted to shell out additional money for to continue my education? No. Most of the additional training I wanted to take was with independent teachers r/evolutionizing yoga and not part of the Yoga Alliance.

So, I am now calling myself a Sovereign Certified Yoga Teacher. In regards to my yoga training, which excludes extensive experience in other areas including energy work and wisdom traditions. I received my 1st certification through Still Flowing Yoga, who is with the Yoga Alliance. I’ve since received other certifications for trainings that counted for little with Yoga Alliance;  I count them because they make me a more informed, wiser teacher. I keep track of all my trainings along with the number of hours I have been teaching and that information is freely available upon request to any of my prospective students.

I’d like to take a moment to define the word sovereign and how I am using it here. One who is sovereign is not under the authority of another. It is also a word that implies excellence, and I hold myself accountable to my own standard of ethics (not at all divergent from those upheld by the Yoga Alliance). Sovereign also implies self-rule, and this is a quality that I not only value for myself but that I consistently empower my students to embrace. We are, each of us, both guru (meaning teacher or wayshower) and student, all throughout our lives. We progress along our chosen path of wisdom best when we can move fluidly betwixt both without over-identification with one or the other.  Finally, the word sovereign implies responsibility. I alone am responsible for my experience of the world; yoga provides me with the practices to rule my body, mind and heart with wisdom, humility, and grace.

I do have my eye on a new movement called YogaUnify. I will have to see how things progress there to determine whether or not they can avoid all the traps that organizations lead to. My hope is that they can. It would be nice to be part of something greater that aligns with my values and vision of yoga. Time will tell…

A quick word about the logo…

The number you see represents the hours of yoga teacher training I have had to date. I exclude training from other subject areas. I haven’t included every hour but rather will update the logo to reflect 500, 800, and then 1000 hours of training. I’m currently working toward the 500 mark.

The bottom portion of the inner symbol is the Tibetan letter “A”.  A is said to be the original mother, giving birth to all.  In that respect, it is itself the uncreated. It is the symbol of Great Perfection in the nondual practices of Dzogchen in which all phenomena  arise dependent on conditions , fading away when those conditions end. Nothing that arises absolutely exists. What was before and alone remains is the unchanging and eternal.

The syllable is crowned by a lotus, a somewhat typical symbol in esoteric traditions for good reason, depicting rebirth, divinity and enlightenment. It is the very seat of the soul. A lotus rises up from the mud to bloom untouched, a thing of purity and beauty. The chakras, or energetic centers of the body, are often depicted with a lotus and statues of Buddha often set him upon a lotus cushion.

And finally, the lotus itself is crowned with a single pearl. I have always been drawn to the pearl as a symbol of purity, luminescence, and peace. In fact, my mala (prayer beads) is a string of mother-of-pearl chosen for these very qualities. There is also a reference to “pearls of wisdom”, and while an oyster hides the pearl within itself, many of our highest spiritual qualities are often hidden away beneath unprocessed trauma and the various “pressions”: depression, repression, oppression, suppression. One has to look deep within to discover our Divine Nature…and to be able to see it in others.

This logo is meant to remind me of Truth and the ultimate goal in all that is created and offered through me. I hope it communicates that energetically to others as well.

 

 

Sacred Artistry & Living a Higher Octave Life

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On 2020-09-17

In Sacred Performance, Sound & Vibration

I’ve been writing about path and purpose—how we can never really be off path or without purpose, not really. And last time, I wrote about the multidimenional nature of our path—how our path has a sort of low octave and a high octave version, so to speak.

Today, I’m going to share with you why so many people are only living out the lower octave version of their life’s path. Now, this is a very long and complex topic, so I’m going to keep it simple and just offer a bit of an introduction to start us off.

This comes from a body of work I created many years ago as a vocalist when I was working both as and with performing artists who wanted to elevate what they offered their audiences. In other words, we wanted a higher octave on stage!

I only recently revisited this work, and I was surprised to realize, after all this time, that the work isn’t only applicable to performers. It is meant for anyone who wants to elevate the artistry of their life and manifest the higher octave of their life’s path, whatever it may be. You might not consider yourself much of an artist and be confused by the term “sacred artistry,” but I assure you, you are indeed a creator. Your life is your creation.

What I also realized is that that this body of work offers an important means to understand why the majority of people in this world are still living a lower octave life. So, let’s dive in.

The Three Realms

Intersection of the Three Realms

This diagram represents three realms or dimensions of life. Let’s take a closer look at its parts, starting in the bottom left. The External Realm is the outer world. It is everything that is exterior to your sense of perception. It’s other: other people, environments, objects, memes, etc. It is the realm which is most familiar to a majority of us.

The next section on the bottom right is the Internal Realm. This represents everything about you: your thoughts, your feelings, sensations, physical body, experiences, memories, etc. Everyone has a certain level of awareness of this realm but the range along the continuum is quite large, and a much narrower part of the population has been initiated to deeply explore this realm. Obviously, if you’re even reading this, you have quite a bit of awareness in this realm.

The final realm at the top I refer to as the “Secret” realm which in the Tibetan sense of the word means “hidden.” It represents the unseen world… what we cannot comprehend, explain, or quantify. It is the soup of eternal mystery. It is the realm which the majority of the population isn’t even aware of, let alone interested in on a more than superficial level. In fact, it is a realm which is often relegated to religion or superstition and has by and large been dismissed, feared, and/or forgotten. And that is why our society is so sick. But more on that later.

The Intersections

Now, let’s take a look at the cross-over sections, which represent the imbalances that can develop between realms. Between the External Realm and the Internal Realm, we have “self-importance”. Self-importance is the idea that we are more important than others. Our experiences are bigger, better, worse, and the center of our own attention, and the ills that go along with it are greed, control, corruption and power-mongering.

Between the External Realm and the Secret Realm, we have “inauthenticity.” A person who exists primarily between these two realms might be all talk and no walk. It’s typified by hypocrisy and denial and repression. The concern is image and maintaining image at all costs.

Next we have the Internal Realm and the Secret Realm imbalance which is identified as “withdrawal.” This is by and large about protecting one’s idea of self. Vulnerability is too painful, and so in exchange we have the potential for shame, guilt, apathy, victimhood, arrogance, and isolation.

Imbalances can occur anywhere at any time and in multiple places at once.

But with a balance of all three realms comes the center spot of our diagram through which Sacred Artistry can arise. Sacred Artistry is the sweet spot of a high-octave life. It is the harmony created by the three-note chord of the three realms. When we learn to live our lives from this fulcrum point, we are aware of actively exploring and caring for all three.

Sacred Artistry

Balanced Fusion

When we enter Sacred Artistry, we live a life in blended balance. And this creates a fusion that can take you from a low octave life into a higher one. It isn’t that any realm is better or more important than any other. All three are essential components to Sacred Artistry.

But as I’ve already mentioned, it is a deeper awareness of the Secret Realm that is the key to opening the portals into Sacred Artistry. Up to now, humankind has placed all emphasis elsewhere. Indeed this realm has even been “kept from us” or only accessible through some other being with spiritual clout. It has been ignored, denigrated, dismissed, etc. But now, it can no longer be so easily ignored if humankind is to progress. And there is much healing to be done. So if we are truly wanting to live the highest possible manifestation of our life’s path, indeed if we are falling into the myth of “off path,” we must give this realm a great deal more of our attention in all aspects of life. We must heal all that keeps us feeling separated from and lacking trust in this Great Mystery.

Meme Busting – The Problem With What We Think We Know

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On 2020-09-06

In Blog

This morning, while purusing one of my favorite Facebook groups, I encountered one of those very political posts that sparks heated debate. It was started by one of the members concerning the Gilet Jaunes in France which just today is in its fifth week. The group in question is one which serves the English-speaking population here, so it is made up of immigrants… or as many prefer to call themselves (though I fail to see the difference), expats. The post was one that left a knot in my gut and a feeling of hopelessness for humanity.

The poster, who I possibly unfairly imagined to be a pensioner in housecoat and fuzzy slippers, eating a croissant with her 10 AM glass of wine, was criticizing the movement, basically saying that while it started with the best of intentions, it has become overrun by fascists and needs to be ended. She went on to say that Macron had acquiesced and given them what they wanted, so now they need to stop with the destruction which only hurts innocent people and costs everybody lots of money.

There’s certainly some truth in that. But only some. And the problem is that the truth that is missing is enough to render the argument quite ignorant. And while I could go into detail about that, this post isn’t about politics, and the last thing I want to get into is a political debate. There’s something much more important at stake here.

The bigger problem that I want to address is that this is but a tiny example of an unfortunate aspect of human nature, in which we fail to learn how to think critically, whether due to a poor education or due to our own unexamined fears and past suffering, and how we think we know something when, in fact, we don’t know the half of it.

They say that what you don’t know can kill you. It’s just as fair to say that what you think you know can kill you too. What we think we know causes us to celebrate our victories far too prematurely and to accept our defeats without contest. We are, sadly, easily conned.

Humans are fabulous (and hell-bent) at generating meaning and judgments around the sparse information we collect, convincing ourselves that what we’ve generated is absolute reality. In fact, though, details are always missing. Always. Without exception.

Our entire lives, if we don’t wake up to this realization, we are not only fooling ourselves, we are also very easily fooled. By constructing confining and very often inaccurate boxes to place ourselves, our situations, our solutions and other people into, we leave little room for the actual facts. (let alone miracles). But those very missing facts could be information that makes our watertight certainty a Titanic doomed for the seabed. So much for a false sense that we’ve got it all figured out.

My aforementioned poster perhaps read a headline and drew conclusions in line with her ideals without considering what may have been missing. News stories often serve the narrative of the ones who pay for advertising (or even the ones who own the media) and assumptions and conclusions are often stuffed down our throats (aren’t they thoughtful!). When evidence eventually surfaces that counters those assumptions and conclusions, the retractions (if they bother), certainly don’t get the same bold headline. Everyone has moved on. The false narrative becomes historical fact. To hell with the truth which remains cemented in people’s minds as conspiracy theory and there’s no arguing with anyone who “knows the facts,” even if they don’t know the half of it. For a somewhat tame example of what I mean, feel free to check out this link of proven conspiracy theories.

At the heart of our drive to draw conclusions we will find our deep fear of being used, neglected or disappointed, rejected or just plain wrong. I understand that we want to protect ourselves and our loved ones from danger, but is that enough to justify a continued habit if that habit is shown to be dangerous in and of itself? Can we justify our opinions, however erroneous, with the acknowledgment they are born from fear?

We live in a time when we can no longer be satisfied by half-truths. It is our civic duty to wait for the whole story. But can we ever know the whole story?

Of course not. We’ll NEVER know the whole story. We’ll never see the bigger picture… not as long as we cling to our old ways of thinking and doing. The universe is vast. It’s intelligent, far more intelligent that we are. The human mind is currently incapable of grasping it. Shouldn’t we just accept that already instead of parading around like we f*#*ing know stuff??? Our arrogance will be the death of us… or at best, our enslavement to ideas.

The social media memes in which we indulge are no better. While many contain pointers to true wisdom, and others remain inert, still others are dangerous ideas based on half a story. What might be a truism in one situation is an absolute falsehood in another. Yet we pass memes around like some kind of proof of our sanity or political agendas. If someone has upset us, we find a meme to tell them how we really feel. If we are nursing a deep ache or healing an old pain, we find a meme as a balm of comfort. We use memes to prove our opinions and viewpoints. We use them to aussage our wounded egos.

This wouldn’t be such a big deal if we were wise enough to question ourselves and the assumptions that memes tend to make instead of using them to cement our sense of identity. Most of us don’t. We end up convinced by sayings such as “love hurts” and “if your path is difficult, your calling is higher.” But love doesn’t hurt; all the stupid stuff we believe about it does. And no one’s calling is higher than anyone else’s.

The time has come to mind the gap… that huge bottomless cavern between what we think we know and what we don’t know we don’t know. Play with your memes, but hold them lightly. Question them. Question everything… especially if you believe it. Learn to be comfortable with questions, with being wrong, and with not knowing. These, my friends, are essential skills for surviving the coming age.

It’s Not the Path But The Way You Walk It – Part II

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On 2020-08-26

In Blog

In my last post, I wrote about the fear-based idea that a person can ever be off their path. We can never be living someone else’s dream or walking anyone else’s path. The only one in your body is you. The only one in your mind is you—even if the seeds that have flowered there originally belonged to someone else, a result of your conditioning. And if you find yourself living the life your mother or father wanted for you instead of the one you want for yourself, you’re still on your path, and in a moment of grace, you may experience a shift in perception that allows you to start honoring your truth instead of someone else’s. You won’t be on a different path. You’ll still be on yourpath, the only one you can walk. Maybe it’ll feel like a different path because you will have made a vibrational pivot. You will have had an “ah-ha!” But even here, the journey has only just begun.

While there’s no way you can be off your path, there is a way you can be walking it in a bit of a haze and daze. The fog is there as a symbol of misdirected attention. But this can play an essential role, if we recognize it for what it is and don’t turn it into some sinister belief such as “I’m off my path.” Maybe we’ve “lost the plot” but certainly not the path.

Though it is a lie, even the belief that you can be off your path still serves a purpose on your path. It, too, is trying to redirect your attention. Maybe you keep bumping into the same patterns, the same old karma. Maybe you feel lost or without purpose. It isn’t that you are objectively lost or ever could be. It’s relative to a narrow perspective and a dimension in which we are often tempted to believe crazy things about the way we feel, like that we could be off our path or purpose, and give our power away to those who promise to put us right. This might sound confusing or difficult to understand so let’s try it from another angle.

Think of your path as multidimensional, like a drawing that’s layered on top with other drawings on tracing paper. We can shift our attention to include all layers or only some. Sometimes, it is useful to narrow in on one layer, but other times, we need the “whole picture” for a complete perspective. Sometimes, we might be so focused on a particular layer that the other layers seem to have vanished from existence. They are still there, of course, and part of the bigger picture. We just need to back up and flip some pages to see them again.

You see, it is only the whole picture that reveals the truth, you are divine. It is this bigger picture that has the power to open up the path, allowing you to explore your personal gifts, talents, and experiences unique to you. By widening our perspective, we begin to strengthen our connection to our higher aspects and our path begins to reveal more layers. It starts to feel more like the one we always thought we’d be walking. The haze and daze begins to clear. But what is it that helps us shift perspective? What needs to happen for us to put all the layers of the picture together?

And here’s the truly mysterious and fascinating thing as well as the one thing most people don’t want to hear. You know all that stuff on your path that makes you feel like you’re not on your path? The doubt. The confusion. The dissatisfaction. Those very things we resist, deny, avoid, run from, and stuff down? They are essential parts to the bigger picture. They are not expendable. They are absolutely necessary. Without the lines they draw, the bigger picture would never be complete.

This is why dealing with your shadow is so critical! When we resist the shadow work we must do, we remain stuck in what some might call the low-vibration manifestation of our life’s path. We see the parts and surface layers only, but not how they connect, and when we try to see the bigger picture, we can’t because we don’t want to include the page we’re on. We haven’t been taught to think multidimensionally and inclusively. We’ve been conditioned to think black or white and maybe gray. The idea of “layers of reality” boggles the mind, but it is the nature of consciousness.

It’s the very things that we revile that allow us to access the eagle-eyed view. Spiritual bypass isn’t life-saving; it’s plastic surgery. Lots of people try it. They want the feel-good perfect life and the absence-of-suffering fantasy. But it’s fake and phony, like an overpowering, artificial fragrance that burns the nostrils and slowly destroys our sense of smell. And it keeps us from fully realizing the enlightened potential of our path.

You’re always on path. You’re always on purpose, whether you like it or not. And whether or not you walk the highest possible manifestation of that path and purpose is a matter of the way you walk and not the path itself. It’s directly commensurate with the amount of the bigger picture you are willing and able to see (and if you don’t see as much as you wish you did, that too is your perfect path). It is directly proportionate to the depth to which you are willing to dive.

The keys? Acceptance. Forgiveness. Humility.

So stop worrying about whether or not you’re on your path and use that energy to simply love the things that make you imperfect and human. Embrace the qualities that embarrass you, that you hate about yourself, and that make you feel ashamed. They are the very things standing in your way, but not in the way you always thought. They are the stuff that will propel you on your path and elevate it to the bigger picture. They are the very qualities that can help you unlock your true gifts.

That’s right! Your divinity is hiding in the shadows!

It’s Not the Path But The Way You Walk It

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On 2020-08-26

In Blog

I peruse a lot of social media groups that cater to what I guess I’d call “a spiritual mindset.” I’m often shocked to see the kind of ideas out there that one would think “being spiritual” would lead us away from. On closer inspection, one begins to see that the beliefs we had when we weren’t necessarily spiritually awakened simply start to wear a fancier dress.

For example, what may have once been depression based in disconnection might now become anguish over being “left behind.” And the very feelings that brought us to the spiritual path, say our dissatisfaction with life or the recognition of the emptiness of the material world, those very same feelings may begin to feed on the fear of never feeling “better” or “whole.”

There’s also a commonly held fear of being “on the wrong path,” a fear that is often corroborated by those hustling their programs to “discover your path” or “live your purpose.” And while some of those programs may have value, that they come from the assumption that you might not know your path or that you might be living “off purpose” makes them false friends from the start.

Think back to an earlier time in our collective consciousness when we still actually believed that if we didn’t get that new shampoo, someone else’s hair would be silkier than ours. We don’t fall for that so much anymore. We know the toxic crap in one bottle is pretty much equally cancer-causing to the toxic crap in the more expensive bottle. The point is, there is no difference to this kind of belief versus the spiritual idea of being on a particular path. Our pre-spiritual conditioning follows us into spirituality. And we fall for it again and again.

Look. It’s simple. You can’t not be on your path. Whatever it looks like, wherever you are, however you feel…you’re on your path. You’re on it. You’re living it. Even if you’re resisting your life with every ounce of your being, you’re still on your path—the only one available to you. There’s no other choice. Even if choices appear, even as you come to forks in the road, no matter which fork you choose, even if you choose going backwards, you are still on your path. Even if something you wanted more than anything else in the world doesn’t come to you, if you missed the chance, if you lost the contest, you, my dear, are still on your path.

Just walk!

Everybody’s been seeking relief from feeling shitty thinking that spiritual people don’t feel shitty. That too is a huge lie. And guess what? Those shitty feelings you feel ARE YOUR PATH! You’re just not using them correctly, probably because you’re so obsessed with them meaning that you’re not “on path.” They are an indication of what you aren’t seeing. They are an indication of what you are misinterpreting. They are an indication of the lies you have yet to root out.

It’s bizarre, isn’t it? It’s also part of the mysterious game of life. The very belief that you could be off path is still not enough to throw you off of it. But it sure can distract you for a while and make you feel all kinds of worse. And then, because you feel ever shitty, you’re certain you are somehow lacking, mistaken, and lost. Well, guess what? You kind of are, but only kinda.

This crazy idea that we can be “off purpose” or “off path” is a spiritual lie. It’s one of the biggest pieces of bogus being passed around right now. It causes all sorts of anguish, guilt, self-doubt, and needling feelings of dissatisfaction with life. We get ideas like, “if only I was” someone else, more like her, less like him, doing that instead, certified in this, living over there, fill in your blank. And it completely distracts us from the here and now. It blinds us to what is real.

Relax! You’re not going to miss the bus to enlightenment. You’re not going to screw up. You’re not falling behind. And here’s why. You’ve already chosen. If you’re even bothering to read this, you’ve made your choice. You’re up. There’s no going back to sleep, and the work you have to do is right here in front of your face, in your body, and behind thy own eyes.

Just walk. Or better yet, dance!

The Wounded Yogini Part III: Having Healed

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On 2019-10-30

In Yoga & Movement

This summer was a real challenge for me. I had a pinched nerve in my neck which created a constant radiating pain into my left finger. For over a month, I couldn’t even sit at my computer; I had to stand. And I couldn’t type with that finger at all. Sometimes, I would get an electro-shock down my arm as well. It was almost impossible to sleep at night. I soon learned that I have cervical arthritis and stenosis. I was told I needed surgery (though I had no intention of having any, and for awhile, I wondered if my yoga practice would ever be the same.

The good news is that is will never be the same. Why is that good news? Because what I learned about my body and myself during this “test” has taught me invaluable lessons I was unlikely to learn any other way. It’s now five months from the date of my initial injury, and while I still technically have arthritis and stenosis, I have zero pain and am able to do everything I could do before the inury. (There are, however, some things I choose not to do.)

But what I wanted to write about here is how I healed from what could have been a career-stopping injury. I’ll start by saying that I believe in the body’s capacity to heal itself. Given the right conditions, we mend. There was no way I was going to consider something as drastic as surgery when I’d only been in pain for such a tiny span of my life. Besides, I was well aware that spinal surgeries often do more harm than good. Let the doctors say what they will; I turned inside to know what was best for me, and I knew that was waiting things out.

If we drive ourselves crazy with fear, we perpetuate the problem. If we believe oursevles to be broken or even fragile, we scare oursevles into hypervigiliance. If we remain unwilling to look at what caused the problem or unwilling to change that, again, we only make the duration of the problem longer. Yes, I had to look at some things…some habits of mind and soreness of heart…unresolved pain that was simply expressing itself through my neck.

I also accredit my recovery to the Energization practices of Parmahansa Yogananda. This is a set of simple but profound exercises created by Yogananda to keep the body strong and healthy, among other benefits.  While I couldn’t do every single exercise while in pain and had to modify several of them during my healing process, I know certain exercises helped to stregthen my neck and back and realign my spine.

I also behaved and stayed away from things that would have exacerbated the problem. I had to stop eating inflammatory foods. I had to adjust how I slept. And I had to alter my work-life. This took some arresting of the ego, especially as I continued to teach classes and often couldn’t demonstrate or do myself what I was asking of my students. But in that way, I think it made me far more attentive to and curious about the process of my students.

Finally, I was patient while never doubting (yes, there were moments, but then I’d remind myself) that I would be well again. Healing takes time. It requires self-care. It takes a certain amount of faith. And it takes grace. Fortunately, yoga cultivates self-care, patience, faith, and grace. Today, I’m feeling better than ever and constantly learning to improve my relationship with my own body as well as my understanding of yoga.

Yoga Beyond the Fluff: The Power of Prayer Hands

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On 2019-08-06

In Blog, Yoga & Movement

Sometimes, the most simple things in yoga never get explained or are explained incompletely by those who poorly understand them. A familiar mudra or hand pose you’ve probably done a hundred times (especially if you grew up in a religious household) in yoga classes is “prayer pose”, or anjali mudra (prana mudra in kundalini yoga). It is traditionally known worldwide as a gesture of turning inward or of expressing goodwill and peace.

But yoga is not a religion; it’s a science. Do you know the scientific significance of prayer hands? There are several facets of this special mudra worth understanding.

First let’s consider the meanings. A mudra is a “seal” and “anjali” could be translated as “an honoring”. By forming our hands this way, we assume an attitude of reverence. It’s considered a daily greeting gesture of respect in Eastern traditions. You are most likely familiar with “Namaste” which literally means, “I salute you,” but is often translated to mean, “The light in me honors the light in you.” Used in the traditional way, it is a greeting and not a parting. However, it is often seen used as a closing in yoga classes. Perhaps the intention is the most important aspect of its meaning.

Now on to the science. The hands and fingers are filled with sensitive nerve receptors. These nerves are intelligent enough to help you know when something is hot, cold, soft, prickly, etc. and they communicate that information to the brain’s cerebral cortex.

Now, as you probably know, your brain has two halves: the right brain is our creative and intuitive hemisphere while the left is our analytic and logical side. When we bring our hands together, the right being controlled by the left brain and the left by the right, we are in essence, integrating brain function, bringing balance between left and right. Dominant brain halves are thus neutralized bringing improved concentration and focus.

But wait. There’s more. The right side of the body represents the sun and masculine energy (pingala) while the left side represents the feminine and moon (ida). When we bring the hands together in prayer pose, we are balancing these polar energies as well, creating a neutral space in the body’s electromagnetic field.

To perform Anjali Mudra:

  1. Start seated in easy pose, or if uncomfortable on the floor, sit in a chair or stand in mountain pose.
  2. Bring your palms together in front of the heart, thumbs touching the sternum.
  3. Seal the outer edges of your palms and fingertips. In some traditions, leaving a small gap between the palms is recommended while in others, the entire surface of the hands and fingers touch. Experiment to find what feels right for you. (Sometimes, I let the fingers cross slightly).
  4. Release unnecessary tension through the arms. If you like, apply a gentle pressure through the hands to feel them coming together. Notice the balance of tension from left going right, and right moving left. Now relax.
  5. Close your eyes and lift your awareness upward toward the point slightly above and between the eyes. Remain aware of any sensations or phenomenon.
  6. Breath relaxed but deep breaths. Pray if you want. Remain for a minute or more.
  7. To come out, bow the head with reverence and release.

I want to briefly mention the thumbs and the significance of pressing them into the breastbone. This activates a reflex point of the vagus nerve, which is one of the longest nerves in the body traveling from the head, ears, through the neck, linking our heart, lungs and abdomen.

The vagus nerve is associated with both our ability to rest, relax and regenerate and with our often overused habits of shutting down, running away, and disconnecting when we sense a threat. The vagus nerve helps to regulate our breathing, the body’s anti-inflammatory response, and heartrate. It also affects our memory and ability to tap into our “gut” sense. Research has shown that stimulation of the ventral vagal nerve, along the front body, activates these feelings of safety and calm, so crucial to yoga practice. So, when we press into the sternum with our thumbs, we are activating the ventral vagal nerve and its positive aspects.

So maybe why we perform Anjali Mudra is beginning to make a lot more sense to you. But in addition to the linguistic meanings and science behind Anjali, there is of course, the spiritual implication best described by Krishnamacharya, well-known yoga teacher and scholar (1880-1989), who wrote:


This gesture signifies the potential for an intention to progress to the greatest spiritual awakening. When done properly the palms are not flat against each other; the knuckles at the base of the fingers are bent a little, creating space between the palms and fingers of the two hands resembling a flower yet to open, symbolizing the opening of our hearts.

 

In summary, Anjali mudra aligns us with the right attitude to center ourselves and pray. It inspires our posture upward, and it also brings calm to the emotional body and mind, balance to the brain, and opens the heart. Furthermore, it signifies our spiritual aspiration and prepares us to receive spiritual awakening. So next time you find yourself in yoga class placing your hands together in prayer, may you have an enriched experience by recalling some of what’s behind it.

 

Some Changes Coming – INtuitive Yoga Lab

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On 2019-07-30

In Blog, Yoga & Movement

In my last two posts, I wrote about how a recent injury has made me more aware of my essential approach to yoga as well as how my own practice is having to change as a wounded yogini.

In light of my ponderings, I’m going to be slowly introducing a new class style called INtuitive Yoga Lab. This is going to incorporate the 4 essentials I wrote about in my last post:

  • Slow way way down. Then slow down some more.
  • Resistance is the opportunity.
  • Consider parts to the whole.
  • Question everything.

The goal of INutitive Yoga Lab is to make it easier for people to honor these principles by:

  1. Making yoga class accessible to various abilities at once
  2. Creating lots of space and time (and props!) within class for explorations
  3. Facilitating the discovery of a personalized movement form for each individual
  4. Helping students to further develop their inner authority and body-honoring intuition.

It may take some time for me to fully develop and refine this way of doing things, and it may take some time for students to get used to this level of self-empowerment in a yoga class, but I believe this approach is well-overdue (I mean this in general and in terms of mainstream yoga; of course, there are those who do and have been taking this or a similar approach for many years) and greatly needed.

In INtuitive Yoga Lab, there will be certain foundational movements taught in conjunction with traditional yoga postures. But overarching everything, I wil encourage an individualized, intuitive, and inquisitive movement practice. Some of the elements that will be introduced and cultivated include both traditional and non-traditional yoga:

  • Pranayama
  • Mind/Body Energy Flow
  • Concentration
  • Self-healing
  • Somatic pandiculation
  • Developmental and natural movement
  • Proprio and Interoceptive Training
  • Traditional Asana
  • Meditation
  • Voicework & Sound
  • Restorative Yoga

Indeed many of these aspects are not unfamiliar to my students already, especially those who attended my Absolute Beginners workshop. However, the way I have been delivering them is in for a change. A lab is a scientific environment in which one conducts experiments. Sometimes, important discoveries are made. Other times, things flop. On ocassion, one waits and waits for something to happen. It’s all part of life in the lab. INtuitive Yoga Lab is about giving you and your body temple safety, time and space to experiment, explore and discover your body and its interconnection to mind and spirit.

 

The Wounded Yogini Part II: Yogic Essentials

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On 2019-07-28

In Blog, Yoga & Movement

In my last post, I wrote about how a recent injury and subsequent discovery of health issues has inspired me to develop a clearer picture of my approach of yoga and how I want to facilitate it for others Today, I’d like to attempt to clarify what are for me, the most important aspects of a healthy yoga practice, particularly in relation to asana (or postures).

A Bit of Background

I was originally drawn to Iyengar yoga in my late 20’s. It was a good yoga for my 20-year-old body and helped me deal with middle back pain. I later discovered kundalini yoga in my late 30’s. It was the perfect yoga for that period in my life, too, taking me right into my 50’s. I attribute the long health of my back, despite its “issues” to kundalini practices. But when I finally took teacher training, it was in a somatic, intuitive style of yoga, definitely the fringe.

That training reintroduced me to aspects of my dance life pre-20’s. I loved incorportating those more creative elements so much that I got curious about the application of other forms of movement in my yoga practice as well, like developmental movement and martial arts. I believe we can learn more from variety, maybe because we are variety. While there are certainly great gifts in focusing well on one thing, when it comes to the body, the more variety, the more integrated we become, and the more integrated we are, the better able we are to respond to life.

So, I’m certainly neither a purist nor even a traditionalist when it comes to asana, to the chagrin of some and the delight of others.

The Point of Practice

So if we don’t have to practice only yoga poses or even every yoga pose to be a yogi, what’s the point of even having a physical movement practice?  The original point of asana was preparation for meditation. It was meant to relax the body and release tension so that deeper states of meditation would be possible. I actually do find this an essential part of practice but in addition to the ultimate goal of deeper states of meditation, asana provides other benefits such as:

  • nervous system resilience
  • the undoing and freeing of restriction
  • more connected and coordinated movement
  • improved and supportive breath
  • strength and “response” ability with ease

So then, how do we access those benefits? Following are what I consider to be 4 of the most important elements to my approach to asana:

Dielle’s Yogic Essentials

Slow way way down. Then slow down some more.

We’ve got to have time to feel every tiny articulation and connection through a movement. As experienced yogis, if we’re speeding through from one pose to the next, we aren’t likely to catch any of that. Rather, we’re reproducing stale postures from muscle memory. It’s not that that’s “wrong”, but habit and conditioning needs to be broken through now and again. Change is an inevitable part of life, and just as our bodies change day to day, so should our practice. Slowing down gives that practice juice and life and the chance to experience something totally new and unexpected. Every yoga session is best approached with beginner’s mind. Absolute beginners especially need to know that the journey is far more important than some end result. If the approach doesn’t feel right, the landing won’t either! Yes, take a run-of-the-mill beginners class, and you often see students trying to go from 0 to 60, so to speak, without moving through 2 – 59. They can’t breathe, they are tense, and their likely to hurt themselves. We have to train ourselves to go slow enough to recognize the body’s signals. Furthermore, we need a window of opportunity in front of the pain that sets in only after we hurt ourselves. If we do something without thought or automatically, sure, it may come quite easily. But we can come to regret it rather quickly.

Resistance is the opportunity.

When we come up against resistance, the  body is delivering a very clear and simple message. And no, it isn’t the message that resistance is an opportunity to push through and past it. “No pain, no gain” is a sado/masochistic mantra. Rather, resistance is your cue to “be” and “breathe”. I’ve been in classes where I’ve witnessed other students gasping for or producing labored breath in more challening poses. Nothing was said about it though they were clearly uncomfortable and efforting. The breath should always be the first clue that something isn’t going well and that the body is being pushed too far. In essence, we’ve stopped doing yoga. When we hit those places when the body says, “Stop!”, when we’ve gone as far as we can go–really even before that point–this has to be the place where we obey and honor the body. Our work is right there. If that means we’re not “doing it right”, so be it. If it means we look like amoebas instead of pristine yogis, so be it. If class goes on without us, so be it. I know it can be super challenging to just close yourself off in your own little world and repeat something over and over when that isn’t what the rest of the room is doing; it can be even more awkward when the teacher draws attention to it. But it’s not dishonoring the teacher or the other students when you take care of yourself. Rather, you’re demonstrating intergrity and inner authority; that’s yoga. It takes deep humilty to be honest in yoga class.

Parts to the Whole

I recently took a class, otherwise totally enjoyable, in which I was cued to lock my front knee. I ignored the cue. The instructor informed me how helpful it would be if I could, and when I wouldn’t, he assumed I had a bad knee and was modifying for that. I could live with his assumption…because my knees aren’t bad….because I don’t lock them! Our joints aren’t meant to be locked, bone grinding against bone, straining the ligaments and other connective tissues. They are meant to have room to respond to life’s unexpected challenges. I already know all too well from my recent discoveries how overstressing the joints results in osteoarthritis. My neck is well into the domino process of degeneration. I intend to save what’s left! This relates to an important aspect of movement: the relationship of the parts to the whole. We’re not machines with easily replaceable parts. We are whole organisms connected head to foot in numerous ways. That’s why surgery doesn’t always help but often leads to even more problems. It’s also why certain alignment cues can do us more harm than good. What affects one part affects the whole. When we don’t keep this in our awareness, we’re more likely to injure ourselves.

Question everything.

Realize that every yoga teacher teaches a combination of two things: what they have been taught and what they have discovered. In so much as they teach what they have been taught, there is a lot of room for error, misinterpretation, and the perpetuation of myths. A good example is the use of “Namaste” at the end of yoga classes, which is akin to saying, “Hello” instead of “Goodbye” when you hang up the phone. None of us are free from those little inaccuracies going back through the ages. I’ve learned things that turned out to be incorrect…whether scientifically- or merely personally-speaking. In so much as teachers teach what they have discovered, while it still may or may not apply to anyone else, at least there’s a very good chance for a deeper understanding and more effective application. The danger in any class is placing too much authority with the teacher. We’re trained all our young lives into adulthood to abdicate to authority. But perhaps the most critical issue to anyone’s yoga practice is remembering that the body, so unique in build, alignment, and expression, is the only authority. Therefore, our job as yogis is to develop our body-mind intuition and obey what is tells us.

That in itself is a life-long practice and a lesson best learned early on to avoid long-term physical issues later.

Stay safe yogis!

Words for the Soft (and Hard) Hearted

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On 2019-07-25

In Blog

When you picture your own heart or that of someone else, what do you envision? Do you see the typical valentine heart with two symmetrical bumps in a shade of red or pink? Maybe you picture a more biological heart like a bulbous fist? Maybe you see one of those hard resin models used in anatomy classes.

I came across an amazing video the other day opened my heart imaginations to new realms. It was posted on the website of Gil Hedley, who is a Rolfer and creator of Integral Anatmony. If you can stand the science of dissection, there are actually several interesting videos available. While my initial reaction is always a gag reflex, fascination soon takes over. The video that changed my life was called “Beautiful Fluid Human Heart”. In it, Hedley palpates a human heart to show that it is not a rigid structure, but more akin to a soft little bean bag. We all know the heart is a very strong muscle, and when it is living and engorged with blood, pumping away, then yes, it is a firm, tensile organ, but with no life left in it, it is a truly tender thing.

I actually cried as I watched the video because it totally shot my perception of the heart to pieces and in so many ways. You see, my mother suffered congestive heart failure, and I’ve often wondered if I would endure the same fate. I always had this idea in my head of a guarded heart, one struggling to push on. Throughout my life, my head has been filled with notions of “a hardened heart”, “broken” hearts and closed-off hearts afraid to love. I even adopted spiritual practices to “open my heart” and clear the heart chakra because I was told, and believed, that there was something wrong with mine. I practiced the work, but in my mind, there was always this association of having to change the state of my heart and overcome its failings. I think what hit me most when I watched the video was that it is a physical reality that our hearts are soft little sacs. It’s the physical truth…before any work, spiritual or otherwise, be done.

With this newfound appreciation of my heart’s tenderness, I have a different relationship with not only my own heart, but that of others. This idea of a hard heart…it simply isn’t the truth. Underneath it all, we are all soft-hearted by our very nature. Compassion and Universal Love are our birthright. We simply need to remove all the mistaken impressions that keep us from this realization.

And if the heart only becomes tensile with life in it, then that tension is part of life. It too is natural. Constriction and softening are two sides of that same force required to give life. One is not better than the other. They work together. When there is only one and not the other, the physical heart cannot live on.

In June of 2018, I discovered the contemplative work of The Gene Keys by Richard Rudd. If you are familar with that work, then you likely already see the connection this insight has the potential to give. This video has blessed me with a profound understanding of not only Gene Key 25 (Constriction/Acceptance/Universal Love) as described above, but it has also helped me deepen my relationship to the 29th (Half-heartedness/Commitment/Devotion). I realized that half-heartedness was living in fear of the natural contraction/expansion dance of life. To live with a full heart is to accept both and let the veil of duality drop. The commitment is to all of life…a full life…and both states of a living heart.

The Wounded Yogini

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On 2019-07-23

In Blog, Yoga & Movement

You may be familiar with the term “wounded healer”. The idea is that one has to go through his or her own healing journey in order to be able to help someone else. For the last month, I’ve been a wounded yogini after a fairly innocuous warm-up left me with an odd feeling in my left upper quadrant with radiating, tingly pain down my arm into my fingers.

The warm-up was nothing that “should” have injured me. However, due to pre-existing conditions, it was enough to get my attention. And really, it’s a good thing, because if I hadn’t of been made aware of the state of my neck, which I’ll get to in a moment, I could have done even more serious damage.

I took a trip to the doctor, something I really dislike. My generalist is also a chiropractor, and while in ordinary circumstances, that would have been helpful, in my case, it probably wasn’t. He adjusted me and successfully corrected the numbness in my last two digits, but then the problem moved to my index finger, which is another nerve entirely, and has been there ever since.

The diagnosis has been somewhat unexpectedly complex. After the requisite x-rays and an MRI, it was discovered that I have several issues (and probably should not have been given an adjustment at all!): reverse curve; at least one herniated disk contributing to my current thoracic outlet syndrome, which is the pain down the arm into my finger; cervical stenosis or a narrowing of the space around the spinal cord; and osteoarthritis. OH MY!

Now, as a person who loves to move, this isn’t terribly exciting news, but as a former costume character dancing in costumes that exerted incredible weights on the head, it’s not entirely a surprise either! Nor is it the end of the world. Yes, I have to make some changes to my personal practice and teaching methods, some for the time-being and others longer term.

The good news is, that while I couldn’t even type with my left index finger two weeks ago, now I can. So there’s definitely improvement to the acute issue. I’m also fortunate enough not to need any pain medication (despite the lunch sack of prescriptions my doctor attempted to give me). Gentle stretching, herbal remedies, kineseotaping, “scientific healing affirmations” as taught by Paramhansa Yogananda, and essential oils have so far been enough, and for that I am incredibly grateful.

In regards to my yoga practice, three things come to mind:

  1. yoga is so much more than the asanas, some of which I will never be able to do again…and that’s okay
  2. this experience is helping me to redefine and clarify “my yoga” and how I want to share it
  3. I’m now better equipped to help other people with similar issues to do what they can without exacerbating a condition

In this post, I want to talk solely about the first point and leave the others for another time.

It’s interesting. In learning about my conditions, I have come across a lot of writings by other yoga teachers or people who wanted to be yoga teachers describing injuries that either shut them down or forced them to change their approach to yoga. Those that loved yoga for its purely physical aspects definitely have a harder time coping with injury. I consider myself blessed to know that yoga is not just about asanas or postures. Yoga is about right lifestyle and developing resilience. It’s about the breath, concentration, meditation, absorption, and ultimately, liberation. Fortunately, the only aspect of my yoga that will need to adapt is the asana aspect. And considering my style of yoga was already very somatically inclined, and more about the intuitive, interoception than the pose, perhaps it won’t have to change all that much.

Given my diagnosis, I know for at least the time being that I shouldn’t be jumping up and down, nor should I perform twists towards the side of the injury. Away is fine. Nor can I lie supine without neck support. For now, I also need to stay away from poses that put undo pressure into my arm or shoulder such as downdog and plank. While backbends would likely be helpful for my herniated disk, the arthritis and stenosis would preclude me from doing any, at least in the fashion that traditional yoga teaches. Certainly, I won’t want to bear any body weight on my head or neck, as in plough pose (a favorite) or headstand (which I never did anyway!), and I need to be mindful with arms overhead. Forward bends are a go, though. Woohoo!

Here also is where I am grateful that my movement practice has never been limited to yoga. Certain energization exercises (as taught by Paramhansa Yogananda) and somatic exercises are still good as are some developmental movement explorations. I can also indulge in restorative poses, nerve glides, chi gong, tensegrity, and pranayama (of course!).

Whatever I do do, I just have to practice what I always preach: work slowly, let the body lead, and honor your limitations. Going through this is making me a master of pose modifications and variations, which leads more into my third point above about being a better teacher. Though I just realized, I hate that word, ‘teacher’. I want to be more of a facilitator to movement exploration.

So there it is. That’s where things currently stand for this wounded yogini. Stay tuned for more posts about my personal yoga theory and upcoming changes to my classes this Fall.

 

The Path of Kriya Yoga

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On 2019-06-28

In Blog, Yoga & Movement

Since January of this year, I have been taking Raja Yoga courses with Ananda.org in preparation to receive the yogic practice of Kriya later this year. Kriya itself simply means “technique” and refers to the actions one takes on the path of Raja Yoga. Raja Yoga pertains to the highest goal of yoga…self-realization. It is inclusive of all forms of yoga: absorption through meditation, bhakti or devotion, right action (including asana), and wisdom attainment through reflection and contemplation.
So on July 4th, a day that marks liberty in my homeland, I will be vowing discipleship to this beautiful yogic lineage and Paramahansa Yogananda, the one who brought Kriya yoga to the West. He’s no longer in physical body but very much alive in the beauty and refinement of his teachings and in his ability to deeply penetrate hearts and souls.
 
Discipleship? Will You Be Shaving Your Head? Moving to a Convent?
Taking discipleship vows is a commitment and is my way of affirming that I desire to follow God’s will and not my personal egoic will. It means that I am willing to open my heart to God and dissolve the self in that love. It means that I am committed to freeing myself from my attachments and the delusions of this world…however long it takes. It means I am asking for help. This lineage, specifically Yogananda, will be my trusted guide for as long as it may take. It doesn’t require head-shaving, Himalayan caves, tattoos, or passing out flowers at airports (though that could be fun)!
 
So You Worship This Yogananda Now?
Yogananda is not the object of my devotion, but a reminder of it. The devotion is to the Truth. All the glory is God’s.
 
Don’t You Want to Steer Your Own Destiny?
In the way the question implies, not really. I’ve been there. I’ve done that. Dielle, who hates to be told what to do and what to think and who has spent lifetimes seeking happiness outside herself is ready now to align herself with something greater. Right from the beginning of my experiences with Ananda, I knew I had finally connected to a lineage of Masters that truly had the potential to lead me home. I’m not giving up anything…anything that I won’t lose someday anyway. I am gaining the real and eternal.
 
I want to be clear because I know there is a a lot of confusion out there about what a guru is and isn’t. The mantra “be your own guru” is a popular one, one I’ve chanted myself plenty of times, and that is indeed the aspiration. But just as a surgeon should learn from someone with experience before applying what he’s studied in books, the surest way to advance on the spiritual path of self-realization is to align with someone who has achieved it. One could attempt to make this journey without a guru, but how many lifetimes would it take? I prefer to walk in the footsteps of successful others.
I also want to explain that this isn’t some kind of savior complex. I am not redeemed by Yogananda. I am redeemed through my own energy, thoughts, and actions. Neither does this mean I cannot work with or benefit from other teachers or paths. It is simply a commitment to one set of practices for my personal practice. It is an agreement of trust. Part of my dharma in this life has been exploring many paths from many lands; now I find that everything coalesces harmoniously into this lineage.
 
To Share or Not to Share
This is a really important juncture in my life and one I debated whether to announce for many reasons. Will there be way too many misunderstanding or critisicms? Will I lose clients who fear I might start trying to get them to drink the cool-aid? Will people now expect me to be some perfected representation when I am all too human with my own shadows to conquer? I have a duty to myself to be transparent. And I sincerely want to declare the deeply personal impact this yogic lineage has had on me and my life and then prove it through how I live. That will take effort, discipline, practice and time. That will take yoga! All I can say is, I’ve known nothing so sweet as the energetic transmissions of Yogananda, and I’ve been blessed with some incredibly sweet teachers and experiences in my life.
 
So Are You All Religious Now?
To be clear, Kriya Yoga is not a religion. It’s really a practice, but the teachings do make reference to words that some might find difficult. I do! I still find myself triggered from time to time when a word or phrase reminds me of Catholic mass! Yogananda, in bringing Yoga to the West, did his utmost to make it accessible to the Christian faith. Of course, it isn’t really about the words. It’s about Truth, and words will always fall short. Even that word, God, is one easily adulterated by misunderstanding and/or misinterpretation. Infinite Spirit, Cosmic Heart, Source of All, Divine Mother & Father, Universal Intelligence… it’s all the same thing. How can one name the nameless? Albeit practical, the naming only creates the illusion of division among people and the stories we tell about the word keep us from seeing who and what we truly are.
 
I haven’t “joined a cult’, nor will I be doing any door-to-door conversions or anything even remotely that silly. But it will of course influence the way that I teach and certainly the type of energy I transmit to my family, friends, and yoga students. But I haven’t forgotten that there are many paths back to our True Nature, of course, and as long as each fulfills the person taking it, making him or her happier and more loving, that is reason alone to respect it.
 
Now the real work begins. Inward and Upward!

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