This month’s alignment takes a look at our beliefs around “worth”. What are things worth? What are you worth? And what about feelings of worthiness? Where do they come from? How do we deal with them?
What is Worth?
Let’s start with a definition. American Heritage defines worth as a quality that renders something desirable, useful, or valuable. In other words, it’s “justifiable” value. In Western culture, what makes that worth justifiable is deeply associated with wealth or possessions. I suggest that this limited meaning is conditioning minds to the point of toxicity.
Say What?
What got me thinking about worth? I was listening to a financial influencer who I admire for his visionary thinking. When his talk turned to the subject of worth, his comments made my jaw drop to the floor. He was saying that worth is gauged by what you offer the world and that the wealthy are wealthy because they provide a value to society. He was saying that if someone spends their time hanging out or on permanent vacation, that person is of no worth. I knew I had to be listening to his conditioned mind. He probably heard such things from those who raised him…not just family but the circles in which he grew up.
I don’t argue with the fact that this is the way the world views worth. However, my mind was thinking of all the obvious exceptions. Some of the wealthiest people have caused the greatest harm to society. I was imagining some overpaid CEO, boarding his jet, justifying his existence with the story of how much he’s giving value to society with that overpriced plastic gadget that must be replaced every two or three years while the elementary school teacher preparing children for a bright and informed future barely scraped by.
I also imagined the great sage, Ramana Maharshi, sitting under a tree seemingly doing nothing, wanting nothing, saying nothing, and simply existing in peace and harmony and the uncelebrated contribution he was able to make to the world…a contribution of invaluable worth, I might add.
Worth is Inherent
What my young financial genius failed to understand is that the worth of each and every human is inherent. If someone lives and walks the earth, they have God-given worth and the full authority of that same power to live aligned with their own nature. They need prove nothing, although they will hopefully take it upon themselves to make the earth a better place.
It isn’t about how much a person has or doesn’t have, has done or hasn’t done. In fact, plenty of “value to society” ideas have fallen on deaf ears because society doesn’t necessarily value what is good for them. I would even venture to say that our materialistic society generally has no clue.
Things
So let’s set some things straight. The value of things is one possible aspect of worth; this often is but shouldn’t be applied to people. The perceived value of a thing can vary greatly from person to person, culture to culture. In fact, there are very few things that are agreed upon to be valuable unless we are talking about values themselves: things like honesty, kindness, and beauty. But even in the case of values, what constitutes honesty, kindness and beauty? And what makes say, freedom, more valuable than say, justice? This is also open to interpretation.
One might naturally argue that gold has global value. But again, what makes it so? In terms of objects, worth cannot possibly be determined by anything other than mutual agreement. That’s it. Agreements, though, are subject to the whims of man. And if two people cannot agree on the worth of something, does it really have actual worth or is it a mere shadow of worth created by the mind?
Self-worth
Now let’s address this issue of self-worth. Where does that come from? For far too many, especially in our social media culture, it comes from external sources of validation, prestige, acknowledgment and attention. This kind of worth requires constant maintenance and re-proving. The ultimate problem with worth based on external validation is that the day it ends, all is lost and one’s sense of self-worth with it. This has been demonstrated throughout history by various icons and celebrities who turn to drugs or alcohol when their popularity diminishes and the true source of worth remains unrecognized.
Rather, true self-worth is an understanding that one is a small part of something much greater. It is a recognition that worth is our natural birth certificate. It doesn’t matter one tiny jot whether or not someone else agrees. The worth is inherent. If more of us lived by this principal, would there not be much more respect for ourselves and all of life?
- We could end the violence toward others (and even more so towards ourselves) that competition demands.
- We could take down the constantly shifting goal posts that require humans to prove something over and over again.
- We could stop the ceaseless competition and jockeying for position.
- We could stop using others as stepping stones to our own advancement, treating others like expendable goods in way of our ambitions.
Idealistic? Perhaps. But if we can’t strive for the realization of such ideals, what is anything for? And what, in the end, would anything be worth?
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
~Sharon Salzberg
Journaling Prompt
The feeling of worthlessness is a very common core wound. Consider when you either feel a sense of worthlessness (and what situations or interactions precipitate it) or judge other human beings as unworthy or worthless. Where did such feelings come from? What is the underlying narrative or fear beneath the feeling? You might find this uncomfortable or even painful to look at. But this is what a commitment to healing and remembering your True Self requires.
Affirmotions Practice
The following adapted affirmation practice comes from my book, Scarcity to Sovereignty: Money, Meaning and the New Economy. Make yourself comfortable in front of a mirror to connect with your own eyes. (If done without a mirror, close your eyes once you’ve memorized each statement and can repeat it on your own.) Read or even sing each statement out loud in as many different ways as you feel inspired to. Then move or dance while speaking it. If it feels fake or silly, that’s okay and part of the practice. Observe your reactions and compare them over time. And if you hit a wall, and want to work with a guide, work with me.
- The breath that fills me with life is proof of my value and worth.
- I do not seek external validation. Neither praise nor criticism has the power to sway me.
- I am unique and priceless. None such as me has ever existed or will ever exist again.
- I acknowledge the worthiness of all sentient beings who have also been given life.
- I walk confidently into every situation knowing my worth is inherent.
- I respect myself so much that the disrespect of others cannot hurt me.
- I commit to acts of self-love and self-care every single day.
It’s completely okay if something doesn’t resonate. Feel free to personalize these or add other statements to your practice so it works for you. And when you feel complete with the speaking and moving practice, sit in silence for a time to integrate the energies.
In Closing
Who’s worth more? The savvy entrepreneur or the homeless guy on the corner? We might have lots of beliefs about that, but only one thing is certain. Death is the great leveler. It feels nothing personal for either of them, just as Life didn’t choose to make one over the other, but both.
When we seek validation outside of ourselves, be it from other people or a collection of things, we are undermining our own confidence and God-given worth or even possibly inflating it in some egotistical way. Whereas when we radiate with the natural certainty of our unique value, we free ourselves from the myths at the root of unworthiness. It might take a little work to realize it, but the Truth of your Shining Self already IS.