We are often advised not to take things personally, and we may even have made a great deal of headway in not being offended by the criticism (or overly impressed by the compliments) others send our way. We may not take on the angry outbursts of strangers we encounter or get all that ruffled if someone cuts us off in traffic. That is progress! And while it might be a little more challenging, we may have even come to a place of acceptance for those closest to us who sometimes know all the right buttons to push.
It’s a beautiful level of freedom, to no longer be buffeted by every outside slight to our egos. But why stop there? There’s a whole ‘nuther level of freedom to experience.
It’s not quite so easy to understand. But when we can stop taking ourselves personally, that’s when things really open up. So what does it mean, not taking one’s self personally?
The Veil of Personhood
We are born. From that moment on, we are taking on an identity that is actually alien to our original nature. We have no choice, though. It’s the experience we’re here for…to be a person. We’re really a ball of consciousness manifested in physical form to experience itself but we rarely have any awareness of that. We are totally wrapped up in who we think ourselves to be.
We grow up and we take on the belief systems to which we are exposed. Sometimes we rebel, but that’s just a different belief system. When good things happen to us, we’re naturally delighted. When bad things happen, we usually feel punished by some unseen force. We judge ourselves for our thoughts, our feelings, and our perceived failings. We take our entire experience personally.
The Self Improvement Juggernaut
At some point, we might step upon a healing or spiritual path. This is often the moment that our suffering leads us to decide that this person we are needs fixin’ and the self-improvement juggernaut ensues. It’s just a step on the path, but very often, too many of us get stuck there. It’s one of the most manipulative and conniving traps the ego sets for us. The ego becomes the seeker and makes it impossible to ever be good enough. There’s always one more stone to be turned over and examined.
At this stage, some of us might project our golden shadow (all the good parts of ourselves that we deny) onto a guru. A good teacher is, in my opinion, necessary to help us see our blind-spots and more often, to hold us in the love we have yet to generate on behalf of ourselves. But there’s a problem when it comes to gurus. If we try to “be like them”, we are misleading ourselves once again. And if we submit to them in their human form, we might fail to see where that sliver of humanity may mislead or confuse us.
The point is, there’s only one of each of us, that person we were born to be. If not, then why be born at all? We’re not here to be another Ramana Maharshi. We’re here to be ourselves, the very best, most liberated, sovereign version. But there’s another step in realization: everything under that veil of personhood actually has nothing to do with us.
Real Sovereignty
Sovereignty comes when we realize that the identity we’ve taken on since birth has nothing to do with us. It may be difficult to grasp how this could be. Our life is, as I’ve said, God’s dream. And our only duty is to live it. We can live it with great angst and resistance or we can live it with an open and accepting heart. That might be our only one and true choice in this life. It’s not a choice presented to all, so if you are given it, consider yourself blessed.
No matter what’s taking place in our lives, whether we experience misfortune or good providence, whether we are of mellow temperament or overly dramatic, whether we are healthy or sickly, whether we are rich or poor… none of it is personal. When this realization enters our awareness, so many of our problems, past, present or perceived future, dissolve in it’s light. What once caused us so much struggle, so much seeking, is laid to rest and we enter a free-flowing state of Grace.
We can finally begin the profound work of rooting ourselves ever more deeply into the Truth of our Being. We are Divine, pristine, eternal perfection. The rest is just a dream.
